超越自我的視野

對一個傾向指控別人的人來說，他只會看見別人的不是，只要他能超越自我的視野，就會看見自己的不是；不單要討回自己的公道，也對人公道，力求雙方都服膺在公道的客觀價值之下。從自我的世界看公道是十分危險的，因為在自我的世界裡，只會不斷感到冤屈、自義而看不見別人的觀點，甚至做出比那個傷害自己更甚的破壞性行為；要解開不公道的心結，就要跳出自我的世界，尋求更高更善更美的價值，把自己服膺在這些價值下，才會虛懷地放下只從自我世界出發的公道。

黃麗彰，《情緒傷害的醫治》，(香港：突破，2006)，頁120。

Two studies on gaining control for the elderly

In one study, researchers gave elderly residents of a local nursing home a houseplant. They told half the residents that they were in control of the plant’s care and feeding (high-control group), and they told the remaining residents that a staff person would take responsibility for the plant’s well-being (low-control group). Six months later, 30 percent of the residents in the low-control group had died, compared with only 15 percent of the residents in the high-control group.

A follow-up study confirmed the importance of perceived control for the welfare of nursing-home residents but had an unexpected and unfortunate end. Researchers arranged for student volunteers to pay regular visits to nursing-home residents. Residents in the high-control group were allowed to control the timing and duration of the student’s visit (“Please come visit me next Thursday for an hour”), and residents in the low-control group were not (“I’ll come visit you next Thursday for an hour”). After two months, residents in the high-control group were happier, healthier, more active, and taking fewer medications than those in the low-control group. At this point the researchers concluded their study and discontinued the student visits. Several months later they were chagrined to learn that a disproportionate number of residents who had been in the high-control group had died. Only in retrospect did the cause of this tragedy seem clear. The residents who had been given control, and who had benefited measurably from that control while they had it, were inadvertently robbed of control when the study ended. Apparently, gaining control can have a positive impact on one’s health and well-being, but losing control can be worse than never having had any at all.

Daniel Gilbert, “Stumbling on Happiness,” (New York: Vintage Books, 2006), p.23.

I-thou vs I-it encounter

…the person should never be reduced to mere social meanings because no person is only a social construction. The person transcends reductionistic labels and simple categories buy virtue of his or her dignity. To relate to the other person as a person of dignity is to engage with him or her in an I-thou encounter, as opposed to an I-it encounter, as Buber described; it is to bear witness to the other as a person rather than a thing.

Stephen Joseph (ed.), “Positive Psychology in Practice: promoting human flourishing in work, health, education, and everyday life”, (New Jersey: Wiley, 2015), p.37.

Happy City: A Job description

What should a city accomplish, after it meets our basic needs of food, shelter and security?

• The city should strive to maximize joy and minimize hardship.
• It should lead us towards health rather than sickness.
• It should offer us real freedom to live, move and build our lives as we wish.
• It should build resilience against economic or environmental shocks.
• It should be fair in the way it apportions space, services, mobility, joys, hardships and costs.
• Most of all, it should enable us to build and strengthen the bonds that represent the city’s greatest achievement and opportunity.
• The city that acknowledges and celebrates our common fate, that opens doors to empathy and cooperation, will help us tackle the great challenges of this century.

None of these goals are radical. The challenge now is to see just how the shapes and systems of our cities contribute to meeting them. How are today’s cities performing? How would we build differently, and live differently, if we could chart the connection between design of our cities and the map of happiness? What would we change if we could?

It is audacious to believe that the city might build happiness just by changing its shape. But it is foolish not to chase the thought, because around the world, and especially amid the sprawlscapes of modern North America, the evidence shows that cities do indeed design our lives.

Charles Montgomery, “Happy City: transforming our lives through urban design”, (UK: Penguine Books, 2013), p.42