2015年11月12日 星期四

超越自我的視野

對一個傾向指控別人的人來說,他只會看見別人的不是,只要他能超越自我的視野,就會看見自己的不是;不單要討回自己的公道,也對人公道,力求雙方都服膺在公道的客觀價值之下。從自我的世界看公道是十分危險的,因為在自我的世界裡,只會不斷感到冤屈、自義而看不見別人的觀點,甚至做出比那個傷害自己更甚的破壞性行為;要解開不公道的心結,就要跳出自我的世界,尋求更高更善更美的價值,把自己服膺在這些價值下,才會虛懷地放下只從自我世界出發的公道。

黃麗彰,《情緒傷害的醫治》,(香港:突破,2006),頁120。


2015年11月9日 星期一

Two studies on gaining control for the elderly

In one study, researchers gave elderly residents of a local nursing home a houseplant. They told half the residents that they were in control of the plant’s care and feeding (high-control group), and they told the remaining residents that a staff person would take responsibility for the plant’s well-being (low-control group). Six months later, 30 percent of the residents in the low-control group had died, compared with only 15 percent of the residents in the high-control group.

A follow-up study confirmed the importance of perceived control for the welfare of nursing-home residents but had an unexpected and unfortunate end. Researchers arranged for student volunteers to pay regular visits to nursing-home residents. Residents in the high-control group were allowed to control the timing and duration of the student’s visit (“Please come visit me next Thursday for an hour”), and residents in the low-control group were not (“I’ll come visit you next Thursday for an hour”). After two months, residents in the high-control group were happier, healthier, more active, and taking fewer medications than those in the low-control group. At this point the researchers concluded their study and discontinued the student visits. Several months later they were chagrined to learn that a disproportionate number of residents who had been in the high-control group had died. Only in retrospect did the cause of this tragedy seem clear. The residents who had been given control, and who had benefited measurably from that control while they had it, were inadvertently robbed of control when the study ended. Apparently, gaining control can have a positive impact on one’s health and well-being, but losing control can be worse than never having had any at all.


Daniel Gilbert, “Stumbling on Happiness,” (New York: Vintage Books, 2006), p.23.

2015年11月7日 星期六

I-thou vs I-it encounter


…the person should never be reduced to mere social meanings because no person is only a social construction. The person transcends reductionistic labels and simple categories buy virtue of his or her dignity. To relate to the other person as a person of dignity is to engage with him or her in an I-thou encounter, as opposed to an I-it encounter, as Buber described; it is to bear witness to the other as a person rather than a thing.


Stephen Joseph (ed.), “Positive Psychology in Practice: promoting human flourishing in work, health, education, and everyday life”, (New Jersey: Wiley, 2015), p.37.


2015年11月6日 星期五

Happy City: A Job description

What should a city accomplish, after it meets our basic needs of food, shelter and security?

  • The city should strive to maximize joy and minimize hardship.
  • It should lead us towards health rather than sickness.
  • It should offer us real freedom to live, move and build our lives as we wish.
  • It should build resilience against economic or environmental shocks.
  • It should be fair in the way it apportions space, services, mobility, joys, hardships and costs.
  • Most of all, it should enable us to build and strengthen the bonds that represent the city’s greatest achievement and opportunity.
  • The city that acknowledges and celebrates our common fate, that opens doors to empathy and cooperation, will help us tackle the great challenges of this century.


None of these goals are radical. The challenge now is to see just how the shapes and systems of our cities contribute to meeting them. How are today’s cities performing? How would we build differently, and live differently, if we could chart the connection between design of our cities and the map of happiness? What would we change if we could?

It is audacious to believe that the city might build happiness just by changing its shape. But it is foolish not to chase the thought, because around the world, and especially amid the sprawlscapes of modern North America, the evidence shows that cities do indeed design our lives.


Charles Montgomery, “Happy City: transforming our lives through urban design”, (UK: Penguine Books, 2013), p.42


2015年10月19日 星期一

建立自信

自信,來自於對自己的喜歡;對自己的喜歡,來自於真的接受自己的限制,以及活出自己的好。跟健康的朋友在一起,除了被接納,還會得到讚嘆,這有助增長我們的自信。用心活出自己,擁有屬於自己的真實經驗,在辛苦掙扎的同時,不忘為自己累積一個又一個喜歡自己的美好經驗,便為自信播種和扎根。我們可以回味每日最快樂的時刻、欣賞自己做得好的地方或獨特之處,每天一點一滴的建造「更喜歡自己」的堡


摘錄自:黃士鈞,《做自己,還是做罐頭?》,(臺北巿:方智,2012),頁86-98

面對批評

如果批評來了,我們先辨別有沒有我們可以負責的部分,有就記在心裡。然後,接下來的重點是:不要活在批評的陰影裡。因為批評你的人,不一定是喜歡你、關心你、愛護你的人,他們通常也不是你未來會想要成為的樣子。如果讓自己一直活在批評裡,我們會不知不覺地扭曲自己,逐漸符合了那些我們不想成為的人。而且,一直把眼光放在批評的世界裡,你會越來越難受,越來越不舒服,能量越來越低。這麼一來,根本就沒有進步的動力與往前的心力。

所以,如果要進步成長,就要記得把自己的眼光,從被批評的世界裡,移動到那些真心愛我們、鼓勵和支持我們的世界裡。因為在這樣的氛圍裡,我們會一邊成長,一邊喜歡自己,而不是表面上成長了,表現好了,但卻越來越不喜歡自己。


摘錄自:黃士鈞,《做自己,還是做罐頭?》,(臺北巿:方智,2012),頁52

2015年10月16日 星期五

做自己,還是做罐頭?

相對於「做自己」,就是「做別人要我做的」。做別人要我做的,就是根據社會期望去做應該做的,我給這樣的行為取了個誇張的代名詞,叫做「做罐頭」。(因為罐頭是工厰生產線上大量製造的產品,每個罐頭產品幾乎一樣,也都安全地成為社會需要的東西)

做罐頭,符合了社會的期待,於是成了穩定社會的力量;做自己,同步了內在的流動力量,活出了生命的美麗,也為世界增添色彩。所以,做罐頭很好,做自己也很好。

為什麼要當罐頭?因為罐頭有其存在的必要,這個社會是設計給罐頭來活的。做罐頭輕鬆很多,因為罐頭的世界可以少掉很多麻,也不必跟旁邊的罐頭解釋太多。 因此,當罐頭可以省掉很多很多對抗社會期望的壓力。省掉這些抵抗的力氣,可以用來好好地「做自己」,於是我開始有空間和力氣,可以靜靜扎實地寫文章,實現當作家的夢想。

對大部分符合社會期待的人來說,「穩定與安全」是第一優先。所以,冒險不被鼓勵;追求自己的夢想,也常常被警告。因為那些符合社會期待而活的朋友,心裡也有蠢蠢欲動的夢想,如果他們鼓勵我冒險,那他們如何面對不敢實現夢想的自己?所以,那些警告的話,其實是他們在對自己說的,是要阻擋他們自己的;而我,可以擁有自己的聲音,擁有自己的選擇。

美麗,常常來自於冒險。雖然你我都知道,那個冒險的過程,社會不會為你背書,因而孤單很多,挫折不會少,就看你的人生想實現什麼了!

做自己,意思是聽從心裡的聲音、實現自己的心、長成自己希望的樣貌。活出自己希望的樣子,是你生命的責任。做自己的路上,常常會孤單,而且要為自己的選擇負責;同時,因為嘗試了,會減少遺憾,於是生命得以更有完整感。

所以,當心裡的聲音很大的時侯,做自己會很美;當心裡的聲音普通的時候,做一點罐頭,做一點自己,挺好;當心裡的聲音跟社會期待一樣的時候,那就享受做罐頭的輕鬆吧!


黃士鈞,《做自己,還是做罐頭?》,(臺北巿:方智,2012),頁30-35




2015年8月24日 星期一

What is Global Citizenship Education?

Global citizenship refers to a sense of belonging to a broader community and common humanity. It emphasises political, economic, social and cultural interdependency and interconnectedness between the local, the national and the global. Global citizenship education entails three core conceptual dimensions: cognitive, socio-economical and behavioural.



Global citizenship education aims to be transformative, building the knowledge, skills, values and attitudes that learners need to be able to contribute to a more inclusive, just and peaceful world.

Global citizenship education aims to enable learners to:

  • develop an understanding of global governance structures, rights and responsibilities, global issues and connections between global, national and local systems and processes;
  • recognise and appreciate difference and multiple identities, e.g. culture, language, religion, gender and our common humanity, and develop skills for living in an increasingly diverse world;
  • develop and apply critical skills for civic literacy, e.g. critical inquiry, information technology, media literacy, critical thinking, decision-making, problem solving, negotiation, peace building and personal and social responsibility;
  •  recognise and examine beliefs and values and how they influence political and social decision-making, perceptions about social justice and civic engagement;
  • develop attitudes of care and empathy for others and the environment and respect for diversity;
  • develop values of fairness and social justice, and skills to critically analyse inequalities based on gender, socio-economic status, culture, religion, age and other issues;
  • participate in, and contribute to, contemporary global issues at local, national and global levels as informed, engaged, responsible and responsive global citizens.


Extracted from: Global Citizenship Education: Topics and Learning Objectives. (Paris: UNESCO, 2015).


世界公民教育

宗旨
透過參與式、賦權的學習過程,讓學習者從行動中學習,理解世界上不同群體、地區之間的相互依存,讓人有能力從日常事件中,找到全球、國家、本地與個人之間的連繫,並以批判思維探討,以及用行動回應世界上的貧窮與不公義問題。

目標
1. 意識到自己是世界的一分子
珍視世界上群體、地區、物種等等之間的相互依存,並在日常生活中,願意探究和反思自己與本地、國家和全球社會的關係,以作出負責任的回應。

2. 尊重自己和他人
尊重每個人的尊嚴、權利和價值。

3. 建立和活出正面的價值觀
擁抱公義、多元、愛、和平、可持續發展等價值觀,並願意在日常生活中實踐這些價值。

4. 培養批判思維
懂得批判地閱讀世界,有能力了解自己和他人的想法從何而來,又有何限制,並明白每個人對世界的理解都是不完整的。世上並沒有誰「最正確」或「知得最多」。

5. 培養責任感和使命感
意識每個選擇和行為都會帶來後果,而每個人都能以行動為世界帶來正面或負面的改變。


教學元素
世界公民教育的內容包括「信念和意願」、「知識」及「能力」三個範疇,各涉及不同教學元素。
信念和意願
知識
能力
尊重人的價值和自主
多元
批判性思考
尊重多元和相互依存
相互依存
自我反省
同理心
多角度了解與世界發展相關的重要概念
調解衝突
對社會公義有承擔
多角度探討貧窮或社會不公平的成因、影響和解決方案
聆聽他人,表達自己
謙遜
認識自我、個人身分和個人的世界觀
能設身處地,以同理心理解他人
感謝的心

協作
相信每個人都能令世界變得更好或更壞

解難;將意念轉化成行動


重要學習概念
世界公民教育涉及不少對當代世界發展很重要的概念,例如:貧窮、和平與衝突、多元、相互依存、公義、人的基本權利和需要、人的價值和尊嚴、可持續發展等。

摘錄自:《世界公民教育學校指引:理念‧實踐‧經驗分享》,(香港:樂施會,2011),頁4-5


2015年7月25日 星期六

培養自尊心

所謂自專心,就是對自我有積極評價和期望。也就是看得起自己。自尊心作為個人對看我的正面評估,會深刻影響個人對自身有關事件的看法,並給個人的精神面貌打上獨特的烙印。自尊心的真諦在於:實事求是地評估自己,既不會否認自我的任何優點,也不會遮掩自我的任何缺點。

培養自尊心,要注意以下幾點:
1. 真實看自己 --- 既承認自己的優點,也承認自己的缺點,以揚長避短;
2. 積極看自己 --- 相信自我完善的力量,不要過分關注自己的缺點與不足;
3. 長遠看自己 --- 相信自己的發展潛力,相信自己的發展成熟。

一個有自尊心的人,在任何情況下都不會放棄對自我的信念。


岳曉東:《做個A+青少年:積極心理學必修的8堂課》,(香港:香港城巿大學出版社,2008),頁104


2015年7月1日 星期三

Sincerity Matters

Heartfelt. Take a moment to appreciate this word. To truly feel positivity in your heart requires that you slow down. The pace of modern life is often so relentless that it keeps you focused outward, away from your inner core. Over time, this stance numbs your heart. To increase your positivity, you’ll need to “un-numb” your heart. Let it feel. Let it sense with your heart, not just with your eyes, ears, and mind. Let yourself breathe in and fully absorb the goodness that surrounds you. Connect to that goodness. Revel in it. Together with a sincere attitude, this slower pace unlocks your heartfelt positivity.

Why does this matter? Because positivity that is not felt – that does not register in your heart or in your body – is empty. It does you no good. Actually, it can be worse than no good. It can be downright harmful. Fake smiles, just like sneers of anger, predict heart will collapse. Positive words not matched with positive feelings wash the body in stress hormones. Insincere positivity is not positivity at all. It’s negativity in disguise. To truly benefit from the gestures of positivity – whether a smile, a touch, or an embrace – you need to slow down and drink in what that gesture means. Make it heartfelt.


Fredrickson, F. Barbara: Positivity: Top-notch research reveals the  3-to-1 ratio that will change your life. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2009. p.180.


表達謝意

根據艾門斯和麥卡羅的研究,每天在日記裡寫下至少五件值得感謝之事的人,身心比較健康愉快。

每天晚上就寢前,不妨寫下至少五件讓你覺得快樂、感謝的事物。這些事物可大可小,包括享用的餐點、和朋友間一席富有意義的談話、正在處理的工作、上帝神明……都可以記下。

除了重複練習外,還要保持愉快心情,想想自己寫下的每件事有什麼意義,同時體會那件事帶來的感受,這種練習能幫助我們感謝生活裡的正面事物,而不會視為理所當然。

你可以自己做這練習,也可以找親近的人------配偶、子女、父母、兄弟,或好友------一塊兒做。與他人一起表達謝意是件有意義的事情,也能增進彼此的感情。


塔爾·班夏哈(Tal Ben-Shahar):《更快樂:哈佛最受歡迎的一堂課》,(台北: 天下),頁42-43

2015年6月12日 星期五

社區自助書架: 書換書永續閱讀計劃



「書換書」永續閱讀計劃
設置自助書架(免費)成為義工送贈書架送贈書籍捐助計劃
「國際協作動力」是一非牟利機構,致力透過推動協作學習及協作領導以培育人、連繫人,並發揚自助助人的精神。本會過去積極舉辦讀書會及利用公開課程組織協作學習活動,培養參加者的自學精神,在平等的環境作分享交流。

為進一步推廣閱讀及培養資源共享的習慣,本會將在各社區設置「自助書架」,讓人可以書換書,循環使用書籍。開放與公眾人士使用的書架亦將被納入「學習資源共享地圖」,方便各界人士到訪換書。

有意參加計劃,請填寫表格,我們將盡快與閣下聯絡。
回應表 http://goo.gl/forms/cD6K8Zi76N

2015年5月30日 星期六

The Process of Decision-Making

One of the astonishing learnings in such large group experiences is the incredibly complex ramifications of any decision. In ordinary life, a course of action is ordered by authority, and unless it outrages us, we tend to obey the order, follow the rule. Although people may mutter, it appears that, in general, everyone accepts the regulations. All the complex reactions are hidden.

But in a (person-centered) workshop community, where persons feel a sense of their own worth and a freedom to express themselves, the complexities become evident. Someone in the workshop proposes a way of dividing into small groups: “Let’s draw numbered lots. Then, all the “ones” will constitute a group, all the “twos” another, and so on.” It is hard to imagine the variety of responses. Reasons are given for this idea. Points are raised against it. Slight variations are offered. Exceptions are suggested. One discovers that there are not one or two, but dozens of personal reactions to this seemingly simple plan. Often the group seems on the verge of consensus, when one more member speaks up, “But I don’t like this because it doesn’t fit me.”

Such a process can be seen as – and often is – a cumbersome, complicated, irritating, frustrating way of arriving at a decision. After all, does the wish of everyone have to be considered? And the silent answer of the group is that, yes, every person is of worth, every person’s views and feelings have a right to be considered. When one observes this process at work, its awesome nature becomes increasingly apparent. The desires of every participant are taken into account, so that no one feels left out. Slowly, beautifully, painstakingly, a decision is crafted to take care of each person. A solution is reached by a process that considers each individual’s contribution – respecting it, weighing it, and incorporating it into the final plan. The sagacity of the group is extraordinary.

The process seems slow, and participants complain about “the time we are wasting.” But the larger wisdom of the group recognizes the value of the process, since it is continually knitting together a community in which every soft voice, every subtle feeling has its respected place.

Carl R. Rogers: A Way of Being. (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1980), p195-196.

Unity Out of Separateness

The sense of community does not arise out of collective movement, nor from conforming to some group direction. Quite the contrary, each individual tends to use the opportunity to become all that he or she can become. Separateness and diversity – the uniqueness of being “me” – are experienced. This very characteristic of a marked separateness of consciousness seems to raise the group level to a oneness of consciousness.

We have found that each person not only perceives the (person-centered ) workshop as a place to meet personal needs, but actively forms the situation to meet those needs. One individual finds new ways of meeting a difficult transition in marriage or career. Another gains insights that enable inner growth. Another learns new ways of building community. Still another gains improved skills in interpersonal relationships. Others find new means of spiritual, artistic, and aesthetic renewal and refreshment. Many move toward more informed and effective action for social change. Others experience combinations of these learnings. The freedom to be individual, to work toward one’s own goals in a harmony of diversity, is one of the most prized aspects of the workshop…… 


Carl R. Rogers: A Way of Being. (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1980), p190-192.

A way of Being (in the staff of person-centered workshops)

Staff members spent time working through interpersonal frictions and differences, which we did not wish to expose to the participants. Gradually we have come to see our function as a staff in a very different way. Briefly, we believe that our major task is to be ourselves. To this end, we spend several days together before the workshop convenes so that, insofar as we are capable:

We are fully open – first to one another, and later to the whole group;
We are prepared to explore new and unknown areas of our own lives;
We are truly acceptant of our own differences;
We are open to the new learnings we will receive from our fresh inward journeys, all stimulated by our staff and group experiences.

Thus it can be said that we now prepare ourselves, with much less emphasis on plans or materials. We value our staff process and want that to be available to the group. We have found that by being as fully ourselves as we are able – creative, diverse, contradictory, present, open and sharing – we somehow become tuning forks, finding resonances with those qualities in all the members of the workshop community.

In the relationships we form with the group and its members, the power is shared. We let ourselves “be”; we let others “be.” At our best, we have little desire to judge or manipulate the other’s thoughts or actions. When persons are approached in this way, when they are accepted as they are, we discover them to be highly creative and resourceful in examining and changing their own lives….

……we do not persuade, interpret, or manipulate,…..during periods of chaos, or criticism of staff, or expression of deep feelings, we listen intently, acceptantly, occasionally voicing our understanding of what we have heard. We listen especially to the contrary voices, the soft voices, those that are expressing unpopular or unacceptable views. We make a point of responding to a person if he or she spoke openly, but no one responded. We thus tend to validate each person……

We are a thoroughly open staff, with no leader and no hierarchical organization. Leadership and responsibility are shared…… 

Carl R. Rogers: A Way of Being. (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1980), p185-188.

2015年5月3日 星期日

On Empathy

An empathic way of being with another person has several facets. It means entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever that he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgements; it means sensing meanings of which he or she is scarcely aware, but not trying to uncover totally unconscious feelings, since this would be too threatening. It includes communicating your sensings of the person’s world as you look with fresh and unfrightened eyes at elements of which he or she is fearful. It means frequently checking with the person as to the accuracy of your sensings, and being guided by the responses you receive. You are a confident companion to the person in his or her inner world. By pointing to the possible meanings in the flow of another person’s experiencing, you help the other to focus on this useful type of referent, to experience the meanings more fully, and to move forward in the experiencing.

To be with another in this way means that for the time being, you lay aside your own views and values in order to enter another’s world without prejudice. In some sense it means that you lay aside your self; this can only be done by persons who are secure enough in themselves that they know they will not get lost in what may turn out to be the strange or bizarre world of the other, and that they can comfortably return to their own world when they wish.


Rogers, R. Carl: A Way of Being. (Boston: Houghton Milfflin, 1980.)

2015年3月6日 星期五

Three Conditions for a climate to be growth-promoting

The first element could be called genuineness, realness, or congruence. The more the therapist is himself or herself in the relationship, putting up no professional front or personal façade, the greater is the likelihood that the client will change and grow in a constructive manner. This means that the therapist is openly being the feelings and attitudes that are flowing within at the moment. The term “transparent” catches the flavor of this condition: the therapist makes himself or herself transparent to the client; the client can see right through what the therapist is in the relationship; the client experiences no holding back on the part of the therapist. As for the therapist, what he or she is experiencing is available to awareness, can be lived in the relationship, and can be communicated, if appropriate. Thus, there is a close matching, or congruence, between what is being experienced at the gut level, what is present in awareness, and what is expressed to the client.

The second attitude of importance in creating a climate for change is acceptance, or caring, or prizing – what I have called “unconditional positive regard.” When the therapist is experiencing a positive, acceptant attitude toward whatever the client is at that moment, therapeutic movement or change is more likely to occur. The therapist is willing for the client to be whatever immediate feeling is going on – confusion, resentment, fear, anger, courage, love, or pride. Such caring on the part of the therapist is non-possessive. The therapist prizes the client in a total rather than a conditional way.

The third facilitative aspect of the relationship is empathic understanding. This means that the therapist senses accurately the feelings and personal meanings that the client is experiencing and communicates this understanding to the client. When functioning best, the therapist is so much inside the private world of the other that he or she can clarify not only the meanings of which the client is aware but even those just below the level of awareness. This kind of sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our lives. We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.

How does this climate which I have just described bring about change? Briefly, as persons are accepted and prized, they tend to develop a more caring attitude toward themselves. As persons are empathically heard, it becomes possible for them to listen more accurately to the flow of inner experiencings. But as a person understands and prizes self, the self becomes more congruent with the experiencings. The person thus becomes more real, more genuine. These tendencies, the reciprocal of the therapist’s attitudes, enable the person to be a more effective growth-enhancer for himself or herself. There is a greater freedom to be the true, whole person.


Carl R. Rogers: A Way of Being. (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1980), p 115- 117.

2015年1月8日 星期四

Bonding


Bonding is the heart of intimacy. More encompassing and enduring than passion or lust (though at times it may include them), bonding is a source of total body pleasure that remains, even when sexual capacity is diminished because of illness or age. It’s a closeness that fills both skin hunger and the need to feel safe in the world, to feel that you can trust another person with your whole being, your laughter, your tears, your rage, your joy. It’s the deep satisfaction of all three parts of your brain. At its most heightened level, it’s as close as most of us get to the exquisite experience, however temporary, of fusion with another being.

…While bonding may be shown by such simple gesture of warmth and affection as hugs and kisses, true bonding is much more than that. Its essence lies in total certainty that your partner is emotionally fully there with you and for you – open to you in body, heart and mind – and knowing that you can offer the same to your partner. It’s the ability to lower your defenses and share yourself fully with another human being, knowing that you are accepted and loved for what you really are, and knowing that you don’t have to pretend.


Gordon, H. Lori: Passage to Intimacy. (New York & Others: Simon & Schuster: 1993)